In salt

" Some say the Earth is another planet's hell. "

Alone
Silence starts to hurt
And heart beats give me headaches.
Abandoned
By carelessness and ignorance
Put to last and always worse
I must be
I must be cursed.
I must be worth the hatred
I must be worth the lies
I pushed away the painful thoughts
Hoping for change
Wishing for difference
Finding nothing.
Result with salt
Insult.
In salt with tears
Stains mt shirts
Hurt my heart
Start to fade
I was never paid
To listen
To comfort
To ever be there
I truly
Just cared.
Closet mind
Whatever pain I find
I put away
Won't construct
Mind process
Never found
Progress
Finds pointlessness.
Wishing so hard
With heart and mind
That I can push away
And be carelessness
And say I'm to worth
To find the strength
To have no hurt
But you're no help
I'm all by myself
While it's all yourself.
And I wish silence
Weren't nothing to say,
I wish silence
Was comfort,
I wish silence
Wasn't awkward or dry,
I wish I could find
The courage to try.
And I wish heart beats
Weren't headaches,
I wish heart beats
Were comfort,
And I wish heart beats
Were invited and accepted,
I wish I would have the brain
Not to keep rejecting
But I grew up the way I did
I even found as a little kid
I couldn't commit
And I couldn't submit love
Because death found love
Quicker than I found it.
You never saw my side
You never asked
I was a chair
I put on a mask
I was for you
You weren't for me
And now alone
I'll always be
You're picture is easier
To paint, but costs
What it costs
I can't say I regret
What I have lost.
But insults
And in salt with tears
Stains on my shirts
Shouldn't be here
I shouldn't have to accept
When all you do is reject
My thoughts
And feelings
My heart
My brain
My pain.
It's not fair
But neither is life
But doesn't mean I have
To put up a fight
For someone who's not there
For someone who doesn't care
For someone who hurts me
But can't even see it.
That's not love, baby,
That's ignorance.
Pure
Fucking
Ignorance.

xoxo