"Even though I like you, in front of you I pretend I don’t. Even though I’m hurt, I pretend that I’m fine. Even though I fully know everything, I pretend that I don’t know anything. Even though I miss you, I pretend that I feel nothing. Even though I still haven’t moved on or let go, I pretend that I moved on. Even though I cry, I pretend that I’m happy and smile.."

And I’ll keep doing so till I don’t even remember who you are.

In salt

" Some say the Earth is another planet's hell. "

Alone
Silence starts to hurt
And heart beats give me headaches.
Abandoned
By carelessness and ignorance
Put to last and always worse
I must be
I must be cursed.
I must be worth the hatred
I must be worth the lies
I pushed away the painful thoughts
Hoping for change
Wishing for difference
Finding nothing.
Result with salt
Insult.
In salt with tears
Stains mt shirts
Hurt my heart
Start to fade
I was never paid
To listen
To comfort
To ever be there
I truly
Just cared.
Closet mind
Whatever pain I find
I put away
Won't construct
Mind process
Never found
Progress
Finds pointlessness.
Wishing so hard
With heart and mind
That I can push away
And be carelessness
And say I'm to worth
To find the strength
To have no hurt
But you're no help
I'm all by myself
While it's all yourself.
And I wish silence
Weren't nothing to say,
I wish silence
Was comfort,
I wish silence
Wasn't awkward or dry,
I wish I could find
The courage to try.
And I wish heart beats
Weren't headaches,
I wish heart beats
Were comfort,
And I wish heart beats
Were invited and accepted,
I wish I would have the brain
Not to keep rejecting
But I grew up the way I did
I even found as a little kid
I couldn't commit
And I couldn't submit love
Because death found love
Quicker than I found it.
You never saw my side
You never asked
I was a chair
I put on a mask
I was for you
You weren't for me
And now alone
I'll always be
You're picture is easier
To paint, but costs
What it costs
I can't say I regret
What I have lost.
But insults
And in salt with tears
Stains on my shirts
Shouldn't be here
I shouldn't have to accept
When all you do is reject
My thoughts
And feelings
My heart
My brain
My pain.
It's not fair
But neither is life
But doesn't mean I have
To put up a fight
For someone who's not there
For someone who doesn't care
For someone who hurts me
But can't even see it.
That's not love, baby,
That's ignorance.
Pure
Fucking
Ignorance.

xoxo

liar

"Didn't want to be your ghost, didn't want to be anyone's ghost. For more than a month you said it was not inside my heart, it was. You said it should tear a kid apart,it DOES."

Twelve trophies on your shelf, all of which fill you with pride. People you destroyed that dried and died. You thought I was a lucky thirteen, you thought you could break me down. 31 days you make me walk a path of nails, smile at my confusion, my anger, and you convinced shadows that walked but wouldn't talk around me, you knew I couldn't see.
Your footsteps are stains on my floorboards, the echo of your laughter a ghost. The only thing you haunt me with is the lies you chose and told. Turn a crowd against me, shame on you. To believe a better friend you'd be, well that's just shame on me.
I hope the ties you severed snap within whatever you chose as crap to throw in my face. To think I was the disgrace within the mix, I hope the sticks you made to defend you burn and you fucking learn at least one thing - whatever you bring to the table you eat, and if you can't, fall to your feet. Don't bite off more than you can chew, in the end it always returns to you.

xoxo