Present

The Flow

Dragging my fingernails at the wall, the sound makes you so much wish your ears were deafened. I do not smile at your agony nor do I wish to comfort it, because a twist of both would imprint in my heart and therefore start a time to our endless beginnings.
I clicked Pause when I thought I did Stop, but destiny knew better than I. I once pried at the thought of you with your hands on one other prize that killed me to see and saw ours die. I lied when I said I didn't care because I knew better than to stare - stare fate in the eyes and all of its being, I wished to know not what it was seeing. Knowing I could know it all, I chose to deny and chose to fall to my normal state, while fate clucked its tongue and clung to my lungs, my breathing heavy.
I could feel its seething and its eyes boring, nearly stopping my heart in all of its glory. Anger touched my veins, and feeling insane I fought back and screamed of that, your face feeling slapped. But your face still stung and to her you clung, my realizing the stupidity of that in myself. Yet you did not cry nor did you report, I feel I was your last resort.
Astonished to see this untrue, you walked away feeling sad and blue. As everybody cried and needed help, I sat in a corner and kept to myself. The whispering walls masked as fate told me to state the truth of me, what I am to be and what I really see. As much as I wished to I bit my lip, letting the revulsion in my stomach sit. It hit me when I saw him standing right there, offering his hands and saying he cares. As much as I resented what was to occur, the present is all that holds, and not the future.
So I sat in my corner and closed my eyes, fate stomping its feet within my demise. Not much is revealed or to be said, because I cannot tell difference between the living and the dead.
The present is tricky to decipher and determine, like a preacher standing revoking his sermon. Confusion and definition defines the unnerving present, rendering to know and fate being pleasent. You just can't know, because decisions can't show. Someday we will all glow within the knowledge and the flow of energy that rises and tells me if my hands will touch his as he pulls me with strength to stand - or maybe they will brand me and burn everything I've worked so hard to earn. Independence is something shattered when you forget everything that matters, giving into him, weakening your limbs, and the day it ends is the day of the grim. Forever in a corner I would sit, never admitting to fate it was right, its sight I should have seen in all that could've been.
But between you and me,
we'll see.