Part III: Reach

I've descended below the
stars,
below the
ground,
to the core,
where I hide
oh so famously.
I can't abide
with normalities
of the world;
because that's
just who I am.
But he
he reached down
and held out his hand
and so vividly
I recall
rejecting it.
And the normal
formalities of the world
would print
that he walked away
and would never turn back.
And for some time
I sat alone
and I wished so much
to have taken his hand
to be accepted
back into this world
where I so
persistently
feel I am
alone;
yet surrounded by
hatred
and a thousand laughs
time and time again
not one of them
being
mine.
But he turned around
again.
His motivation I
questioned though
I myself
was benefited.
He attempted
again
to take my hand
and this time
I took it
and he held my
hand as he took
me back home
but then
left
me
again.
And so I push
away from
everything
persistent
and normal
called hatred
and like all
I run away
again.
But this is
an endless
cycle.
It will go on
forever.
So I can never
promise never.
And I can never
not say no.
Because every time
I let go
I want you to be mine
but once I am held
within confines
I sell away your soul
to whoever bids
and it stains
my conscience
with sins that
I can never rid.

xo ..?