Here I Am Now

The Fog of the Barren, Stripped, and Ruined

Every step I take with the wind rain spits
I sit with serenity in my mind,
Though every aspect of stressfulness hits.
The demons trail behind but I ignore
Every thought that rises like a cloud that soars.
I walk in the middle of a soaken road
Wondering if a car will hit the load.
The walls of a home cannot confine
What holds in this ever thoughtful mind.


The streetlamps shine over the drips on my coat
Little drops of rain that would once float
Above with the sun to create a cloud
And muffle the sounds that once were loud.
Peace is all I ask within this generic 'thing'
Call it what you will but it brings what it brings.
Though life seems enormous within the sphere
There are other 'things' to praise and fear.
Thoughts like these arise above my head
As the fog lingers like flock to a stead.
Though my knees are weak and my legs are strung
I walk through a starless night with heavy lungs.
I've walked away from the clutter and stress
That follows within a weekly mess
My head is clear and here I can ponder
What life is to bring and where I will wander.
I walk through the night without a tear's shed
Not one thing to weep with a stressless head.
The birds do not exist and there silence prevails
Among the shadowed trees appearing stale
Bare without a thought though potential shows
During the winter its abilities we'll never know.
A depressing season although I smile
Though the fear that should surely file
Under that which exists within the hole
That fills with empty worries with all it witholds.
The angels glance down at my very being
But do not smile to what they are seeing.
I ignore their cares because they cannot see
What crosses my mind when I look at the trees
What I think about the vacancy of bees
What I comprehend the day my father flees
What I witness in the eyes of the one who sees
What I believe when I think of their higher
What I know when it comes to liars.
What I attract and what I repel
Who I think decieves and who does rebel.
What I grieve for those of their loss
what I pay when it comes to mental cost.
What I stress for physical extracts
What I detest of the facts of exacts.
What I see when I look at their face
When I know their title is not their place.
Knowing the aspects of the angel's living
Knowing what they're truly giving.
Knowing what they sacrifice and what they do not
Knowing they don't know that hell is hot
Knowing they don't know what it is to be real
Knowing they don't know how to truly feel.
Knowing they don't know what it feels to hit the floor
Knowing they don't know what it is to be more.
Knowing they don't know a door slammed in their face
Knowing they don't know what it feels to fall from grace.
Knowing.
And seeing.
Both sides of the story,
I know how it feels to fall from glory.
My advantage is the choice to choose and tell
About the day I was an angel, and only once fell.

Here I am Now