Thanks

06.16.09

I don't know what's worse
that you don't care or you put them first.
It's so encouraging after the shit I've been through
he left and he's gone and I only had you.

I don't know what could kill me more
you just don't care or pushed me to the floor.
I've tried again and again to hold my head up high
while everyone else looks so satified.

I don't know who or what to blame
was it you or me to start this open flame?
I don't know why I'm singly excluded
I feel I'm from another world, I'm diluted.

I don't know why I'm suprised you let me down
you could always turn my smile into a frown.
These words never seem to come out right
there truthful words always fill me with fright.

All this time I wouldn't pick up the phone
the tought that I needed to be alone
and the fact that when this wish comes true
I'm stuck to the wall like wood to glue.

This feeling of sorrow fills my gut
this pain in my head drives me nuts
If only what I feel I could write on this sheet
nothing can possibly pull me to my feet.

I have so little words with so much to say.
I don't know if it'd be the same another day.
I could cry for no reason or avoid the truth
that such a waste has come to my youth.

I'm so mad at so many, I can't name you all
but thanks for laughing everytime I would fall.
I don't know who in this world I can trust
but keep breathing and living it seems I must.

Nothing can ever go my way, perhaps
I can't find myself even with a map.
I'ts upsetting to think I've fallen below ground
where my screams are muted, I can't hear a sound.

so while I'm buried alive in this dirt,
noone will reason for panic,alert.
If I find my way through these soils
I'll have forgotten my plans and my deams will foil.

Thanks for standing by through all the brawls
It's comforting to know you got your all.
And when I disappear off the face of the earth
I won't have to deal when worst comes to worst.

I'm only ashamed I accepted all your lies
but everybody lives and everybody dies.
When I'm old enough to leave and be finally done
I'll pack my things and just fucking run.

Because for all these years I've been stuck in a place
where nobody wants to see my face.
I've been locked in a cage and I can't reach the key
I don't have an idea of whats become of me.

But when I run and I finally see
that I don't need anyone to agree
I don't need to listen to your pointless pleas
I know that day I'm happy, I'm free.

But just until that day comes and brings
a happiness that will make the birds sing
until that day you ask me a question and I'm due
to answer, it will always be fuck you.